therefore, i hate you very much.

I'm not going to hate someone who I do not love.

Because if I don't love you, then who do you think you are that I might waste my time hating you?

read between the lines.

because you're just so fucking adorable, babe.
smooch smooch.

dear world, from God.

A few days before Christmas, I asked God if he would give me world peace for my Christmas present. He nodded and promised that He will look for it immediately.

On Christmas morning, I eagerly opened my present, but I was disappointed because what I found inside was terrorism. I looked in dismay at the bomb attacks and dead bodies. I looked at God and told him again that I wanted world peace, and would He give it to me as my next Christmas present. He said yes, He would.

The next year, again I eagerly opened my present, for I was sure that God would not break His promise the second time. But, again, I was disappointed to see that what I got was not world peace, but world hunger. I was appalled to see the people walking around as no more than skin and bones. I looked at God and told Him that he had given me the wrong thing, and that He has to promise that He will give me world peace for next year's Christmas present. He said that He promised He would give me what I wanted.

The next year, I opened my present very eagerly, because I was sure that He would not fail me for the third time. So, I was crushed when I found that He had given me global warming instead. I cried when I see the melting ice caps and devastating disasters. I looked at God and cried, "God, why won't you give me world peace?"

He smiled at me and said, "My child, after all you have faced together, why can't you embrace each other and make peace?"

nadia.

where are you?

the truth is
i lie
i lie all the time

i'm just waiting for someone who can see the truth.

so wrong, and it doesn't feel right at all.

weheartit.

i said the wrong thing.
so, so wrong.
it's almost like i did it on purpose, like i wanted to test if it would cause the same outcome as the one i've predicted. (well, not really. it was slightly worse.) like i did it on purpose to ruin my own happiness. like i wanted to ruin my own happiness myself, rather than letting anything else ruin it for me.
as if i needed more drama.
i could have stayed quiet and be content, but no, i had to put everyone--they, him, myself, Fate--to the test. and now i wish i could shovel the words back into my mouth. snatch it up, and choke on it.
choke choke choke.
but life would be too easy if that were possible.
and we know that nothing is supposed to be easy.

jakarta fashion week 09/10

oka diputra


rudy liem

hengki kawilarang

rebecca ing

looks like accentuated shoulders and balloon skirts are still going strong. i like rebecca ing's designs--simple with charming details. and a dash of romance. there are also batik used here and there, which i simply love.

i was lucky enough to get a front row seat. this is actually my first time seeing a fashion show LIVE. well guess what? i'll be coming back for more

:)

pacific place. sunday 151109.

the playground: we're not in the sandbox anymore.

i want that giant ball. it bounced off the top of my head once.

franz ferdinand.

this is how the sky looked when i got home.

six hours of nonstop jumping and pumping fists. six hours of music beating inside my chest. six hours of flashing lights. i had so much fun it must be a criminal. my knees were shaking at the end of the night -- it was dawn when we headed back.

oh yeah, this is definitely better than the sandbox.

playground at carnaval beach, saturday 141109

in the name of blue sky and seas.

BALI - february 2009

when all i can hear were laughter, the wind, and the waves. when the sun beat down and made rainbows whenever i closed my eyes. when all i wanted was for that moment to last forever.

and also when i didn't get enough sleep for a whole week and smelled of sweat. and when my legs got so beat up it was gross just looking at them. but still.

probably one of the happiest times of our lives :)
i miss you all.

if ten million fireflies.

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance
- Fireflies, by Owl City

i saw our old photos yesterday. i didn't cry, i didn't choke, i didn't turn away. i smiled.
they're sweet, those pictures. us. our smile, our memories.
thank you, thank you, i want to say, thank you. for everything. for this. for us.

let's not try to outrun the world, even if earth turns really slowly. aren't everything okay, this way, right now? and i hope someday we'll wake up and find that the reality is better than our dreams.

those fireflies will always be there. just close your eyes. aren't the lights dancing? aren't they beautiful?

the art of losing.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.
- One Art, by Elizabeth Bishop

lately i've been losing things. my ring, my keys, my cellphone (found it three hours later, wedged between the sofa cushions, fortunately), places and names (frustrating how it's on the tip of my tongue just when i lost it), my mind (? no, not yet). i lost things that were in my pocket just seconds before--i took it out, i put it down, i went away, and poof it's gone. and, like bishop said, it's no disaster.

but, unlike bishop, i'm afraid to lose more. unlike bishop, i don't want to lose the cities, the realm, the rivers, the continent. faster and faster they all will go, like sands between your fingers--little things that fall away, one wouldn't count, but soon there will be nothing on your palm. and, unlike bishop, i don't want to lose you.

hi there, again.

i just ran a bulldozer through this blog.

i decided it needed a makeover, so i deleted all the old posts and made a brand-new banner (good, no?). some of the really good pieces will get re-posted, but sadly, there are very few of them. what happened? well, i don't know. but this might be a good place to start.

things are beginning to change around here. in my life, i mean. for better or for worse? honestly, i don't know.

i'll keep you posted, though.

again, cheers.