2009 review - part two.

Which was the best month for you? february, july, october, december

Which month(s) was the worst? june, november

What was the most significant thing that happened this year? one thing piles into another, and they become this huge chain of events.. if you know what i mean.

What person had the most impact on your life this year? friends and lover-turned-best friend

What was the best concert that you attended? the playground festival. does that count?

What was your biggest challenge of 2009? learning how to hold on and let go -- and fight for the things that are important to me

Your biggest regret? june 2009. and not making the most of some golden opportunities

What moments stand out to you the most? valentine's day, sweet 17, trip to hongkong and singapore, the retreat, the 'incident', laurensia cup, the break up, and the trip to bandung, and that.

What band did you listen to the most? jason mraz and muse ruled most of this year. but i kinda listen to lots of artists this year.

On a scale of 1-10, 2009 was: 8.5 -- it haven't been all rainbows and butterflies, but 2009 has definitely been interesting.

Did you:

Meet anyone special? yes :)

Get close to someone you didn’t expect to? yes

Have a boyfriend or girlfriend? yes

Have a relationship for more than 3 months? yes

Hook up with anyone, no strings attached? define "hook up"

Experience the death of a loved one? thankfully not

Get in a fight? yes

Lose a friend? yes

Get drunk? yes

Regret doing something? yes

Go to a concert? yes

Fall in love? well, i was in love

Fall out of love? yes

Get back together with an ex? no

Enjoy being single? yes

Accomplish a goal? yes

Learn something new? yes

Get arrested? no

Break up with someone? yes

Get a tattoo? no

Go to a party? yes

The New Year: 2010

What will you be doing on New Year’s Eve: family thing

Will you kiss anyone at midnight? very much NOT likely

Who do you WANT to kiss at midnight? who do you think deserves it?

What is your New Year’s resolution? new life, better me

Did you keep your resolution from last year? i don't think i have one

Do you think things will be different in 2010? ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY

What do you want most out of 2010? 2010, give me your best shot and take me on a wild ride

Do you think 2010 will be better than 2009? i'll make sure it does

2009 review.

things i lost this year:
- my favorite t-shirts and cardigan :(
- a few pounds -- thankfully
- a really bad habit of worrying about everything
- my mind--partially and occasionally
- people
- love

things i found this year:
- something to do with my future :)
- addiction to BlackBerry
- a whole lot of additions to my wardrobe
- confidence
- people
- something better in the horizon

i'm sure there are more to the list, but those are the major things that i really care about. and if i look hard enough, the 'lost' list would definitely be longer than the 'found', but let's not bring ourselves down this close to new year, shall we?

hey, i had tons of fun in 2009. this year has made it to top of the list of 'the years that changed me the most' -- overthrowing 2008. i have a feeling that 2010 will be the most revolutionizing year of all, tho.

:)

i heart them.

weheartit

lately i've been having trouble trying to find a place for my heart.

i thought of putting it in a box

but it kept banging against the lid

and it hurt

so i took it out and carried it with me everywhere

but it kept leaping and running away

and i got tired of trying to catch it

so i tried to put it back in the box

but it won't go back in there,

the troublesome thing.

missing in action no more.

yes, i have been missing for a while, but it's with a good reason.

november really got me down. it's the month when all the troubles that have been piling up through the year came crashing down. literally. it's when all your problems came banging on your door. i was in no mood for anything -- i just wanted to sleep my way through november.

last week i've been really busy with the final rush of assignments. i still have the final tests for this week, but the worst has passed and now i can breathe a little. my mood has lifted, now that i can finally look forward to holiday (due in exactly 9 days!) and a great final blowout to close this year with a BANG.

so expect more from me.

:)

therefore, i hate you very much.

I'm not going to hate someone who I do not love.

Because if I don't love you, then who do you think you are that I might waste my time hating you?

read between the lines.

because you're just so fucking adorable, babe.
smooch smooch.

dear world, from God.

A few days before Christmas, I asked God if he would give me world peace for my Christmas present. He nodded and promised that He will look for it immediately.

On Christmas morning, I eagerly opened my present, but I was disappointed because what I found inside was terrorism. I looked in dismay at the bomb attacks and dead bodies. I looked at God and told him again that I wanted world peace, and would He give it to me as my next Christmas present. He said yes, He would.

The next year, again I eagerly opened my present, for I was sure that God would not break His promise the second time. But, again, I was disappointed to see that what I got was not world peace, but world hunger. I was appalled to see the people walking around as no more than skin and bones. I looked at God and told Him that he had given me the wrong thing, and that He has to promise that He will give me world peace for next year's Christmas present. He said that He promised He would give me what I wanted.

The next year, I opened my present very eagerly, because I was sure that He would not fail me for the third time. So, I was crushed when I found that He had given me global warming instead. I cried when I see the melting ice caps and devastating disasters. I looked at God and cried, "God, why won't you give me world peace?"

He smiled at me and said, "My child, after all you have faced together, why can't you embrace each other and make peace?"

nadia.

where are you?

the truth is
i lie
i lie all the time

i'm just waiting for someone who can see the truth.

so wrong, and it doesn't feel right at all.

weheartit.

i said the wrong thing.
so, so wrong.
it's almost like i did it on purpose, like i wanted to test if it would cause the same outcome as the one i've predicted. (well, not really. it was slightly worse.) like i did it on purpose to ruin my own happiness. like i wanted to ruin my own happiness myself, rather than letting anything else ruin it for me.
as if i needed more drama.
i could have stayed quiet and be content, but no, i had to put everyone--they, him, myself, Fate--to the test. and now i wish i could shovel the words back into my mouth. snatch it up, and choke on it.
choke choke choke.
but life would be too easy if that were possible.
and we know that nothing is supposed to be easy.

jakarta fashion week 09/10

oka diputra


rudy liem

hengki kawilarang

rebecca ing

looks like accentuated shoulders and balloon skirts are still going strong. i like rebecca ing's designs--simple with charming details. and a dash of romance. there are also batik used here and there, which i simply love.

i was lucky enough to get a front row seat. this is actually my first time seeing a fashion show LIVE. well guess what? i'll be coming back for more

:)

pacific place. sunday 151109.

the playground: we're not in the sandbox anymore.

i want that giant ball. it bounced off the top of my head once.

franz ferdinand.

this is how the sky looked when i got home.

six hours of nonstop jumping and pumping fists. six hours of music beating inside my chest. six hours of flashing lights. i had so much fun it must be a criminal. my knees were shaking at the end of the night -- it was dawn when we headed back.

oh yeah, this is definitely better than the sandbox.

playground at carnaval beach, saturday 141109

in the name of blue sky and seas.

BALI - february 2009

when all i can hear were laughter, the wind, and the waves. when the sun beat down and made rainbows whenever i closed my eyes. when all i wanted was for that moment to last forever.

and also when i didn't get enough sleep for a whole week and smelled of sweat. and when my legs got so beat up it was gross just looking at them. but still.

probably one of the happiest times of our lives :)
i miss you all.

if ten million fireflies.

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance
- Fireflies, by Owl City

i saw our old photos yesterday. i didn't cry, i didn't choke, i didn't turn away. i smiled.
they're sweet, those pictures. us. our smile, our memories.
thank you, thank you, i want to say, thank you. for everything. for this. for us.

let's not try to outrun the world, even if earth turns really slowly. aren't everything okay, this way, right now? and i hope someday we'll wake up and find that the reality is better than our dreams.

those fireflies will always be there. just close your eyes. aren't the lights dancing? aren't they beautiful?

the art of losing.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.
- One Art, by Elizabeth Bishop

lately i've been losing things. my ring, my keys, my cellphone (found it three hours later, wedged between the sofa cushions, fortunately), places and names (frustrating how it's on the tip of my tongue just when i lost it), my mind (? no, not yet). i lost things that were in my pocket just seconds before--i took it out, i put it down, i went away, and poof it's gone. and, like bishop said, it's no disaster.

but, unlike bishop, i'm afraid to lose more. unlike bishop, i don't want to lose the cities, the realm, the rivers, the continent. faster and faster they all will go, like sands between your fingers--little things that fall away, one wouldn't count, but soon there will be nothing on your palm. and, unlike bishop, i don't want to lose you.

hi there, again.

i just ran a bulldozer through this blog.

i decided it needed a makeover, so i deleted all the old posts and made a brand-new banner (good, no?). some of the really good pieces will get re-posted, but sadly, there are very few of them. what happened? well, i don't know. but this might be a good place to start.

things are beginning to change around here. in my life, i mean. for better or for worse? honestly, i don't know.

i'll keep you posted, though.

again, cheers.